The Drunken Bastards

The Drunken Bastards is a work of fiction. A small piece of crap-writing I had done for a friend's school tabloid. In reality, I never have been drunk to such monstrous proportions. 

After due consideration, this thought finally struck me. Unusually though, this term 'Drunken Bastards' was coined by my mum for my brother and me.

Yea, she can be real cocky sometimes.

It was a cool Friday night. The clock showed 12:13 am. Location: Brother's friend's house. Somewhere about 30 - 40 km from my home. It was the mid August. A week before my birthday. Or probably two. Although I must say, that was the sulkiest birthday of my life. Anyway, I met up with my bro and his friends. They were gonna give me a kind of "divine intervention".

This intervention was about making me a tough guy. Turning me into a Man.

Seriously, I find drinking and smoking for showing off pretty rubbishy. All those lafanges aaur chutiyes do that. Back to the story, 12:13 am, at a friends house 30 - 40 km away, we all sat down to drink. 

I guess no one taught them not to mix drinks. But well, they had an assortment. 3 khambe of Smirnoff's Vodka. (Citrus, Green Apple, Vanilla), 3 khambe Kingfisher Premium, 4 Royal Stag (60ml), 1 khamba Old monk and Gin & Tonic. Needless to say, finishing all that in 3 hours would seem mammoth. But it wasn't. The mammoth task was to drive back home the following morning. We were drinking until 3 am and the next morning, we had to drive back home before everyone got up. Unplanned and uninformed trips do cause a lot of stir. 

We all sat down to drink, laughed-talked-ate-drank. Slept. 

The only thing I remember from the next morning is me having a horrible headache and with a bump on my head. The rest of our little troop, loitering around. One guy seemed to have lost his pants somewhere. Which, we found later in the end of the compound under a pile of muck.

Surprisingly, my bro did remember everything. 

What happened actually was we all finished all them hard drinks in a couple of hours. Later, one by one, the drinks started hitting us.

First up, Shinchan (NC), started puking right away. I remember till that part when we threw him outta the house. He supposedly, went out, puked his ass out on the compound wall and fell of it. That pro, got up came back into the compound, slipped on his puke and fell butt-first. Thus, the pant, which he left off due to the stink, which we found at the end of the compound.

Next up, me. According to my bro, I started dancing around to some sad ass song, and fell head first onto the center table. Then I sat down and cried! LOL! Later on, fell asleep while Emraan Hashmi was seducing Mallika Sherawat in Murder.

The rest all went off one by one.

Next morning,

We got up at 5:15 am. Got dressed and drove back home. In the process of driving back home, we got caught by a traffic hawaldar. And, faintly I remember being in the police station. 

I remember taking with me Rs. 5k, and on returning, I just had Rs. 20 with me!

And till date, I haven't had any budget of that sort as to where those Rs. 5k went!! :|

Back home, I got spanked bad by dad and mum. Mum even thought of disowning me. ROFL!